Sunday, October 22, 2006

Pumpkin Patch

We went to the Pumpkin Patch at the Tupelo Buffalo Park with a group of families from PEAK. They had a haybale maze which everyone enjoyed, even the lady who lost a pair of glasses in it and walked over it three times with helpers before she found them. The children played themselves out.

Autumn has been hard for us. My husband has had commitments almost every evening for over a month. I'm left alone at home with the girls all day and a good part of the night. We can't find a babysitter and we've only got one working car, so the girls and I are pretty sick of each other right now. Brighteyes has been so fussy we got down to doing lessons only one or two days a week, then stopped completely. I don't have the energy to deal with all her screaming.

I've also felt the urge to write fiction again. Fiction is a lot more uncomfortable for me to write, what with getting inside another person's head instead of just blathering my own thoughts. It feel much more intimate. I can't do it with anyone making noise near me, let alone standing over my shoulder. But I'm never alone. I can already feel the urge dying inside me from not having a chance to get out, and all I've written are snippets. The girls don't understand why I need to be alone, and it makes them cling to me even tighter. I don't know what to do.

5 comments:

Stacy said...

I'm sorry to hear that you're not getting a break. That can be trying, even in the best of times.

Here's something that works when my boys (6 years old) just won't leave me alone and I REALLY need a break. It sounds a little odd... I use a timer. On myself. We have a little kitchen timer that I'll set for 20 minutes. I explain to the boys that they'll have my undivided attention for 20 minutes, and then I get 20 minutes to myself. After doing whatever they want to do for the first 20 minutes, the timer beeps and I reset it for myself. I leave the timer in a room with them, and go to a nearby room. They can see the timer counting down, and seem content to leave me alone since they know I'll reappear when it beeps.

It may not work for everyone, but it has helped us when I'm starting to slowly go insane. I hope you find some release soon.

Unique said...

Gosh. I feel your pain. I want to do NaNo again this year and I feel like my last fiction brain cell went AWOL.

I'm a single hs'ing mom so I know all about - never alone. I wish I could help but we're too far apart - so here's a big ((hug)) instead.

Try the timer thing. I use a timer too; I've not tried it for that purpose but I'm going to give it a whirl in November. Believe it.

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

Lioness,

I'm hoping everything is okay, it's been a while since you've been around.

Melwinkle said...

Thanks for your honesty. I am feeling stranded and alone. Homeschooling alone would be fine but trying to take care of toddlers while I homeschool is driving me bonkers. My kids aren't getting what they need from me and I feel insane. HELP!! :)